Apparent Thing
Should we have a driver’s license test?
Should we have a parent hood test?
Give your parents a grade for how well they raised you __?
Give yourself a grade how well you helped your parents raise you __?
Write five items that you think are the most important in raising a child (A hint would be knowledgeable parents).
Of the five items that you have listed, did society (taxpayers) have to give any help?
How many thousands of dollars are spent by society and parents raising a child to eighteen years old?
How much is the average yearly cost of keeping a person in prison?
Most parents are not qualified or certifiable for the job. If people started and ran a business along the lines that they start and run family, productivity would be a nightmare. It is very difficult for society to obtain quality parents because of the working conditions, the incentives, the stigma and stress. Even though it would be quite helpful for parents to obtain parenting skills they avoid doing it partly because those skilled instructors talk in generalities which of course do not solve specific problems.
Parents can be encouraged to upgrade skills by being provided with specific proven problem solving methods. Reading case studies is a means of improving parenting skills. Psychology in the Classroom by Rudolf Dreikurs and Family Constellation by Walter Toman are books that solve specific problems.
Generally speaking, there is no such a thing as a one problem family. Each member has a need that is only partly being satisfied. Some family members manage or sacrifice and endure better than others. Children need, desire and demand love, respect, attention and power; if they do not get it, then the family shall have some problems. Attention! The whole world is about me, me and me. I am insensitive to the needs of others until I change I shall have problems all my life.
A child’s life/success begins in the womb. The mother’s environment is crucial to the child’s ability to cope with the future. Even in womb the child is receiving signals/communication from the environment. Is the emotion or concept of love being developed at that time? The emotion of love or substitutes for it can torment for a lifetime.
If the family had enough sincere care for each member to give a positive greeting in the morning and a positive statement during the day and a positive goodnight, there would be fewer family problems. Such a simple thing is very difficult for a family to do. Second-rate communication skills cause at least fifty percent of family problems (I thought you said. Well, you know I didn’t mean it. What I really said was. How can I understand you when you are in the shower?).
Because I do not want anyone to know what I really think or what I really feel, I do not want to communicate clearly with anyone. I am afraid to let anyone know who I really am. I have a façade for my protection. It gives me a sense of freedom. I think you can like the façade, but I don’t think you can like the real me. It would hurt too much to explain it.
How does one communicate one’s desire to be loved, to be noticed, to be respected and the list goes on. It is extremely difficult for one to communicate about one’s self to another family member (especially if you are three years old). What sort of a ding dong method did one’s family or one’s community use to teach communication skills? O.K. listen up! In the first grade did the teacher spend a couple of hours explaining and doing role playing to teach you how to disagree/debate with each other and adults? Most people have never learned how to disagree with others and still be friends. The biggest problem in the family is not what they are disagreeing about, but how they are disagreeing. A family needs a fair, caring, all sides get heard, time outs if needed, no interruptions, no shouting, no name calling, I got your back method to disagree.
Bed Wetting
Why did my child start wetting the bed?
Stuttering
Why did an Indian tribe not have a word for stuttering?
Temper
Who taught my child how to manipulate others via anger?
Reading
Start each problem with a positive attitude.
Shyness
Shyness gets attention but harms social development.
Discipline
Discipline is a kick.
Tardy
Better late than never, oh really!
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